I don't intend to announce anything over internet, but I am pregnant right now and that seems to be pretty naturally preoccupying me. I've always been a little underwhelmed by paintings because they 'didn't change without me'...they have such a stillness about them...when I leave a piece in a certain state I return to it as is. Making a person I imagine will be quite the opposit experience. I'm a bit nervous about how I will find time to continue working, but I also really trust myself to figure it out somehow.
This was a quick wash painting I did pretty sketchy early into finding out I was pregnant. I painted it by making marks and seeing what showed up. For me it represented very clearly this experience and other big life experiences that we consider to be major personal transitions. What I see in this image is a nude person wading into the unknown. The nudity is the inability to really be prepared, a sort of rawness and a sort of vulnerability. The thing with the unknown is there will always be a chorus of people to 'tell you how it is'. To me this can either be comforting- in the form of family and friends sharing their own experiences- or irritating- in the form of media trying to get their hands into your incertainty to make you uncomfortable and sell you shit. It IS uncomfortable. Your friends and family can never really 'tell you how it is' they can share with you and hopefully let you feel some sense of connection and mammalian warmth in our hopelessy gigantic, space-filled galaxy. Ultimately this uncertainty is something you go into alone, because no matter how many other living creatures have lived, died, birthed, etc- your experiences are yours alone and are always new to you. Thoughts like these are both comforting and revitilizing for me in what sometimes feels like an over-populated junk filled world.